Sunday, January 29, 2012

Heart broken

I'm not even sure how to write this and I may not even post this. But today has been a very hard day. We were expecting a call from our agency telling us that our baby girl was born! The phone rang and I didn't recognize the number so I got super excited. I just knew they were going to tell us Ansley was on her way! But instead it was heart breaking news. The birth mother decided to keep her. It was a bittersweet moment. Bitter for us because we were losing a child that we were so excited about, but sweet because she is now able to live with her biological mother.

As adoptive parents We know there are risks that a birth mom could change her mind but we never thought it would happen to us.

When I got off the phone with our counselor I just cried! I asked Josh why God would put this baby girl in our path and then just take her away like that? Moments later he came back to me and told me he knew why. God knows that we have Josiah in our lives and Adalyn on her way so we have a lot to look forward to. Josh said that maybe God put us through that because He was trying to help another couple out that doesn't already have children, so they wouldn't have to hurt. I know God has a plan for every moment of my life. It doesn't make it easier because I have Josiah and Adalyn but I am so thankful for them and blessed that God has blessed us with them. I just continue to pray for that birth mom and baby. My heart hurts but I know this is the way it is supposed to be. We will grow stronger as a family because of this. I asked that you please pray for everyone involved.


Chrissi Jenkins said...

Thinking about and praying for you guys, Nicole. So sorry to hear that y'all are having to go through this. :(

Beth said...

I'm so sorry Nicole! :(

Cassie said...

I can't imagine what you and Josh are feeling right now. Praying for you guys, that new family, and your future daughter!

Nicole said...

Thank y'all for the sweet words! We are going to be okay! Just taking some time to enjoy each other!!! We appreciate y'all thinking about us!!!