Friday, November 20, 2015

Pulmonary Hypertension Awareness Month

November is Pulmonary Hypertension Awareness month.  I was going to throw out a statistic about how many people have this nasty disease but really...even if there is only 1 out of a million we deserve a cure.  There's also a number out there of how long we (people with PH) have to live, I was told 2-4 years maybe and I'm working on year number 10.  The statistics don't mean much to me... Because those statistics didn't write my story....God did!!!  God knew I would have PH, God knows how many days I have left.  Does it worry me that I may leave this earth way too soon because of a lung disease?  Abso-freakin-lutely...but I made a vow when I was diagnosed to not let this disease control who I am and to not Google Pulmonary Hypertension.  Some may see it as I'm naive but I'm not!  I'm choosing to live my life to the fullest and not to let statistics control my fear.

But, with that being said I want people to be aware of this life threatening, life altering disease.  When I was diagnosed not many doctors knew what Pulmonary Hypertension was.  I would say I had PH and they would automatically assume I had high blood pressure.  I went to the ER multiple times and sat there for hours wondering if I was going to make it out alive because they wouldn't believe me on how serious of an issue I was having.  Today more doctors are aware of this disease.  A lot of people don't understand how serious this condition is because we don't look sick but our heart races with little exertion, we get short of breath easily, and if it's bad enough we have passing out spells.  

It took me four years and moving 700+ miles away for someone to properly diagnose me.  It shouldn't have taken that long, it shouldn't have taken me almost losing my life for them to figure it out.  So, if I can share my story and save one person's life..that would be great!!!  

Medicine has come pretty far since I was diagnosed, but there is still no cure.  I'm hoping a praying for a cure but until then I am going to be thankful for the medicine that saves my life everyday.  

Friday, September 4, 2015

110 days

So I wrote this post and then decided to delete it..... 

110 days ago our life went from being comfortable to a world wind of good chaos.  Within a 24 hour period we found out about baby girl and immediately put our lives on hold to bring her into our family.   We went from a family of four to hoping to become a family of five.  It has been a hard road but I would do it all over.  That sweet little face, that is so similar to her brothers, I just can't imagine life without her now.  We have been there with her every second since we picked her up from the hospital.  We were the first ones to see her cute little smile, woke up with her every night, changed diapers, taken her to doctors appointments, worried over every little thing, but mostly we have see Adalyn and Josiah fall in love with her.  Josiah loves to kiss her face off and Adalyn squeals when she smiles at her.  She is a part of this family and we love her so much.

We have 5 days until court..  I feel like the countdown for this day has taken forever.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared or worried sick over the whole thing.   We won't know if the birthfather will be in court until we walk in that courtroom on Wednesday morning.  Best case scenario is that he doesn't show at all.  Worst case is that he comes to court and we have to wait another month or two to go back to court.  

We are so thankful for all of our family and friends (old and new) that have prayed for us, called to check on us, sent text messages, and have supported us financially.  We have been truly blessed and love each and every single one of y'all.  We are just continuing to pray for God to do what is best for my sweet girl and that the birthfather would also see what is best for her.  We have seen God's work throughout this and we know that He isn't going to stop here!!  No matter what happens on Wednesday I know that this journey is exactly where God wants us to be.  He chose us to love, care, pray, and protect her and I won't ever stop doing that.  

–Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  Proverbs 3:5

(I didn't use her name for safety reasons)

After posting this I thought....I made that seem like we weren't struggling, like everything was just hunky dory (is that how you spell that?!)  I have been completely honest with our peeps from day one so I don't want yall to think this is easy, but I'm not one to have a pity party.  We need prayers...and although I feel like a complete basket case at least a couple times a week I really do believe that God will take care of us. ( And just maybe our struggles can help someone else going through a tough time.) It just might not look pretty...there may be some ugly crying going on but we will get through this with the support from our people and love from our God.